Viva Madison Avenue

Oaky so this friend of mine emails to ask me what I think of the latest Viagra commercial. You know the one where the guys are all sitting around the roadhouse playing the tune Viva Las Vegas on their instruments (no not those instruments you filthy minded people) and singing Viva Viagra during the chorus.

First of all I think it is a little weird having a bunch of guys sitting around singing this with nary a woman in site. Personally I think the Village People should reunite and cover this song. It's bound to be an immediate hit at every gay dance club in the nation - especially the "extended" (oops -sorry) seven minute remix version. It would even have crossover potential into the straight clubs where the PC Metrosexuals dance the night away. Of course at the straight clubs the women would probably insist that anything longer than three and a half minutes is "stretching" (oops - sorry again) it.

Now I have no problem with ads for ED products, or condoms, or adult diapers, or hemroid cream or anything else they want to advertise. However I wish they wouldn't advertise the darn things during the dinner hour and as far as the ED drugs go - and there are a few of them now - I think that they shouldn't advertise them when youngsters might be watching. I mean it's difficult enough to make your own decisions about what you want your children to know and when - without them being bombarded by this stuff on TV during dinner hour and "kid viewing time". Let's face it - little ones are naturally curious and will pick up on almost anything, repeat it and often ask questions. And the tune is pretty catchy and you know how kids love that.

The last thing you need is the police and/or DCF knocking on your door and threatening to take your kids away for living in an unhealthy environment because your little Johnny was overheard singing Viva Viagra while trying to drag someone else's little girl, Suzie, off the monkey bars during recess.

Also, during the disclaimers at the end of the commercials every single one of the ED drugs they say "seek immediate medical attention if you experience Priapism - an erection lasting more than four hours." Now you know that of all the words in that sentence your young-un might not know there is only one they will zero in on - "Daddy, what's an erection?" Why in the name of Sam Hill in a society that no longer cares about correct terminology do they have to use it in these commercials. Let's face it our society is so slanged up or dumbed down (or a combination of both) that even in the hospital they used the word pee instead of urinate. I suppose this might be a natural evolution due to the fact that about eighty percent of the time they said urinate they probably got "Urinate? What you talkin' 'bout Willis?"

So instead of erection why can't they use slang in these adds. Heck at least if your child says, "Daddy, what's a woody?" you would have an out. You could tell them it was an old type of station wagon that had a lot of wood parts on the outside. Then you could immediately launch into the first verse of Surf City by Jan and Dean - and anyone knows a parent's singing will drive any kid screaming from the room. Problem solved. Oh, maybe not.........

You might actually have to, at some point in time, explain to them what a station wagon was.

I guess you really can't win